A Phantom, Real Life, Let’s Pretend Interview with Chase Utley or An Ode to Utley or Ima Love da UT!
This is a transcript of a real life, not really, I’m pretending, but coulda been true, interview with Chase Utley. The interviewer writes a blog named, “PhillyMediaSports”, and is known far but not so wide as “JJ.”
JJ – Tell me, Chase, about the amazing four home run game you just had.
CU – I’d like to thank the Marucci Bat Company for the work they did in making the bats to specifications. Without them, it wouldn’t have been possible.
JJ – Yeah, but Chase, you’re the one that hit the ball.
CU – That’s something that came about because of the great job our BP pitcher did today. He was grooving nothing but strikes.
JJ – Seriously, aren’t you gonna take credit for this amazing accomplishment?
CU – It’s a team game, and with Ryan Howard hitting behind me in the clean up spot, it makes the pitchers throw more fastballs to whoever is hitting ahead of him.
JJ – Well, Chase, all four homers landed in exactly the same section in the right field bleachers. You must have been totally locked-in.
CU – I have to thank Milt and Chuck for all the help they give me.
JJ – Let’s switch to another topic. You recently had a few games where you made some bad throws. Some people thought you were about to get “Steve Sax Disease,” but you seem to be on target now.
CU – I don’t think I ever had any problem throwing the ball, but if I had, Sam Perlozzo would have done a fine job helping me out.
JJ – You’ve put together some amazing numbers, and if you continue at the present pace, you could wind up in the Hall of Fame.
CU – That’s something I don’t think about. We’re just playing one game at a time and trying our best to win every day.
JJ – But surely you’re aware of the incredible success you’ve had.
CU – We are only interested in team success and in winning ball games. As long as Jimmy and Shane keep getting on base, RBI opportunities are gonna be there for Ryan, Jayson and Raul. I just do my best to try to contribute.
JJ – Well, Chase, thanks so much for taking time to give me this interview. It was a pleasure.
CU – Oh, don’t thank me. You’re the one who came up with the questions.
JJ – How true. I was terrific.
(more to follow)
Did you see this week’s Sports Illustrated piece on Raul Ibanez? Seems he has a tear in his abdomen. I wonder how he can play through the pain? I wonder even more why our hometown Knights of the Keyboards (Ted Williams’ famous derogatory slur aimed at Boston’s beat writers) couldn’t uncover this information? The gulf between Ibanez’ pre and post injury production is obvious and we all figured something was wrong, but who really knew? No one told us. This isn’t just a lapse in coverage, this isn’t just a blunder, mistake or omission, this is a major failure to uncover critical information that even a grade B group of writers should have reported. This casts serious doubt on the quality of sports reporting in our town. Apparently, we have a championship baseball team and a bush league group of sportswriters. Bad work, boyz, bad work.
I went to Modell’s this morning to buy the Phillies Division Championship hat, which, by the way, is quite coolio. While I was waiting to pay, I saw three Phillies jerseys for sale on the wall behind the cashier: Ibanez, Lidge and Werth. The Ibanez and Werth jerseys were full price. However, there were multiple yellow tags adorning the Lidge jersey, which, upon closer review, indicated it was available at 50% off.
That 50% off price is actually a fine bargain. Consider that Lidge has blown 11 out of 42 save opportunities so far in the 2009 season. That’s a blown save rate of 26%. So, when you figure that his shirt sells for 50% off, that’s an almost double savings compared with his blown save ratio. Just another example of Modell’s watching out for the fan.