Philly Media Sports’s (PMS) Weblog

Comcast Sports Nuts; The Daily News Needs To Be Better; Amy Fadool’s Foolish “Mikey-Mikey;” and Other Silly Stuff

Posted in Uncategorized by phillymediasports on December 11, 2009

Barkann, Oh Barkann

Regular readers are well aware of how much I loathe and despise the self-promoting, self-aggrandizing, self-obsessed, me, ME, MEEEE, Michael Barkann, the Monarch of Me.  Lately, however, I’ve tried to take a more distanced view of this pathetic, egomaniacal man.  And, voila!, suddenly it’s all clear. Barkann is afflicted.  He can’t help himself.  He doesn’t even know what he’s doing.  His “act” is so deeply ingrained, it’s taken root and has a life of its own. So, on goes Barkann, on goes Barkann, on goes Barkann.  Hotter than hot, Barkann is nature’s revenge for global warming.

Comcast Sports Net Telecasts

There’s a lot of sloppiness going on and going on often.  It’s become predictable.  I haven’t made notes, but errors in their graphics have become endemic.  Last Sunday, well after all day games were done, they listed the Giants’ record at “6-5,” when every Eagles fan new the Giants had beaten the Cowboys and were 7 -5. All the other channels had the record right.  Another curious problem is the frequent spelling errors.  For example, the Cleveland Browns were labelled the “Bronws.” Charming work behind the scenes.

Amy Fadool

Most of us know that Fadool won the “camper competition” to pretend to be a real-life sportscaster, despite her sad infirmities, namely marble-mush mouth, and problems speaking simple sentences.  We all know the many times she’s mangled words or simply had to stop and hit the re-start button.  Seriously, Fadool has had to stop speaking  many times, going back to the beginning to try, try again. Is no one at Comcast embarrassed??

But now, Fadool has reached a record high for low dudgeon.  On a recent toss-over from the Monarch, Barkann, Fadool twice referred to him as “Mikey.”  That’s right a double Mikey.  Mikey. Mikey. How humiliating. Do I have to even add, “unprofessional?” Since it’s the end of the school term, Fadool gets a grade duplicating the first initial of her last name, namely, an “F.” It’s time for remedial, Amy.

The Daily News Sportswriters’, well, Crutch

Here’s a copy of an email I sent to Josh Barnett, DN’s Sports Editor, earlier this week.  Naturally, I didn’t get a reply. I have noticed, however, that ensuing articles have dropped the, well, offending well’s.

Dear Josh Barnett,

I don’t know the grammatical term for, well, using the word, ”well,” as a modifier, but I recognize a crutch when I see one. Are your writers under orders to, well, use the word ‘well’? If so, they are doing damned well.

In today’s paper, Paul Hagen goes for a “well” in para 8: “This is odd on a couple of levels.  One is that, well, that’s not usually how they conduct themselves.” Also in today’s paper, now that you’ve brought Bob Cooney into the starting rotation, he got in his own well in the first paragraph.  Good on ya, Bob.  “It was a setting that hasn’t been present at the Wachovia Center since, well, since Iverson was there before.

Sam Donnelon is a more frequent well flyer. But the past and present (and probable future) King of Wells, is, well, Mr.R. Hofmann. Hoffy is hitting about .333 in his weekly columns, good for a ball player, but, well, below the Mendoza line for a sports writer.

I’m having a little fun with you, but really, it’s epidemic and annoying. I’ve thought that the Daily News sports pages have been living off their reputations, well, for several years. Certainly, putting an embargo on all well’s for the foreseeable future would, well, be appreciated.

Oh well,

JJ

Advertisements

Sam Donnellon: Bronze Voiced Orator

Posted in Uncategorized by phillymediasports on October 27, 2009

Yesterday, on Daily News Live, Sam Donnellon, sports writer and bronze tongued orator, had a heh-heh moment at Charlie Manual’s expense.  Are you as sick as I am of these no-longer-ink-stained denizens who still find it amusing to chop down ol’ Chuck for being so “stupid” and “dumb”?  Isn’t it time to put that crap aside?  Manuel has proved to be among the best, if not the very best, manager or coach this city has seen in decades, or perhaps, forever. Chuck rules and we all know it.

We also know that tortured syntax has no correlation to smarts.  If that were true, Donnellon’s stuttering, stammering, faltering half sentences would mark him as semi-literate, hardly qualifying him for his position as a columnist for a big city paper.

Just for the record, Donnellon remarked (something like), if you listen to Charlie long enough, you’ll eventually get a gold nugget. The implication, of course, is that Charlie ain’t too smart. Just another low blow by a would-be high-brow local sports writer. Stuff it, Sammy.

BARKANNBARKANNBARKANN LOOK-AT-ME I’M MICHAEL BARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized by phillymediasports on August 26, 2009

BARKANNBARKANNBARKANN LOOK AT ME I’M MICHAEL BARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAY IT AGAIN: BARKANNBARKANNBARKANN LOOK AT ME I’M MICHAEL BARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M WRITING THIS IN A FONT CALLED, “BARKANNMEE,” WHERE EVERY WORD IS IN CAPS, BOLD AND IN CAPS, ALL THE TIME, DAY AND NIGHT, 24-7, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THERE IS NO MODULATION IN THE BARKANN UNIVERSE, ONLY THAT SELF-PROMOTIONAL SHOUTING, THAT PERPETUAL CONCEITED LOOK-AT-ME WINK WINK AINT I THE GREATEST?!  IN THAT GALAXY THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR THE GLORIOUS GREATNESS THAT IS MICHAEL, MIKEY B, THE BARK, THE BROADCASTER EXTRODINAIRE: MICHAEL THE B GIVING A PERPETUAL SHOUT OUT TO HIS OWN ASTONISHING MAGNIFICENCE.

EVERYBODY LOOK.  IT’S MICHAEL BARKANN, WHERE EVERY WORD IS EAR-BUSTING, WHERE EVERY WORD IS DESIGNED TO DESPERATELY DRAW CONTINUOUS ATTENTION TO HIS OWN WONDERDOUS WONDERIFFIC WONDERFULNESS.  EVERYBODY LOOK SOME MORE. IT’S MIKEY THE B IN ALL HIS PERPETUAL GLORY.  AND YO, KEEP ON LOOKING AT OUR OWN MICHAEL B EXTRAORDINAIRE, THE VOICE OF HIS OWN GRANDIOSITY, THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE STAR OF STARS.  HEH HEH HEH.

HEH. HEH. TWITCH. TWITCH.  YAKNOWWHATIMEAN?  THIS JUST IN!  AIN’T I GREAT?

EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME.  THIS JUST IN.  OH, I JUST SAID THAT. HEY, I’M MIKEY B., THE GREAT BARKANNSKY. HEH. HEH.  LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME, LOVEMEALLTHETIME, JUST LIKE I DO.  YEAH, LOVE ME DO, OH THAT’S THE BEATLES, HEH HEH HEH, WELL, THEN JUST GO AHEAD AND LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME, JUST LIKE I DO, TOO.  YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!

AH, WE’VE GOT AN EMAIL FROM JOHN IN NEWARK, DELAWARE.  JOHN WRITES, “HEY MICHAEL B., YOU’RE THE BEST.  DON’T HOLD BACK.   KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH YOUR FANTABULOUS BARKANNMANIA, YOUR BARKANN AND BAILEY SELF PROMOTION.  WE LOVE YOU.  WE CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU.  YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!  HEH. HEH.”

ARE YOU LIKE ME?  ARE YOU IMPREGNATED WITH BARKANNMANIA?  I FOR ONE WANT MORE.  I WAS TERRIBLY DISSAPOINTED TO SEE THAT THE MICHAEL BARKANN SELF-GLORIFICATION COMEDY SHOW HAS BEEN CONTRACTED TO AN HOUR.  THAT’S 30 MINUTES LESS WONDERFULNESS 5 DAYS A WEEK.  THAT’S 150 LOST MINUTES WHERE I CAN NO LONGER WATCH IN AWE THE BARKANN GREATNESS AS IT OOZES OUT INTO OUR LIVING ROOMS IN BARKASSMIC HIGH DEF.  HEY, I’VE GOT IT:  LET’S GET A “WE WANT MORE MIKE” PETITION GOING. YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET.  SIGN-UP HERE.

WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.