Comcast Sports Nuts; The Daily News Needs To Be Better; Amy Fadool’s Foolish “Mikey-Mikey;” and Other Silly Stuff
Barkann, Oh Barkann
Regular readers are well aware of how much I loathe and despise the self-promoting, self-aggrandizing, self-obsessed, me, ME, MEEEE, Michael Barkann, the Monarch of Me. Lately, however, I’ve tried to take a more distanced view of this pathetic, egomaniacal man. And, voila!, suddenly it’s all clear. Barkann is afflicted. He can’t help himself. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. His “act” is so deeply ingrained, it’s taken root and has a life of its own. So, on goes Barkann, on goes Barkann, on goes Barkann. Hotter than hot, Barkann is nature’s revenge for global warming.
Comcast Sports Net Telecasts
There’s a lot of sloppiness going on and going on often. It’s become predictable. I haven’t made notes, but errors in their graphics have become endemic. Last Sunday, well after all day games were done, they listed the Giants’ record at “6-5,” when every Eagles fan new the Giants had beaten the Cowboys and were 7 -5. All the other channels had the record right. Another curious problem is the frequent spelling errors. For example, the Cleveland Browns were labelled the “Bronws.” Charming work behind the scenes.
Most of us know that Fadool won the “camper competition” to pretend to be a real-life sportscaster, despite her sad infirmities, namely marble-mush mouth, and problems speaking simple sentences. We all know the many times she’s mangled words or simply had to stop and hit the re-start button. Seriously, Fadool has had to stop speaking many times, going back to the beginning to try, try again. Is no one at Comcast embarrassed??
But now, Fadool has reached a record high for low dudgeon. On a recent toss-over from the Monarch, Barkann, Fadool twice referred to him as “Mikey.” That’s right a double Mikey. Mikey. Mikey. How humiliating. Do I have to even add, “unprofessional?” Since it’s the end of the school term, Fadool gets a grade duplicating the first initial of her last name, namely, an “F.” It’s time for remedial, Amy.
The Daily News Sportswriters’, well, Crutch
Here’s a copy of an email I sent to Josh Barnett, DN’s Sports Editor, earlier this week. Naturally, I didn’t get a reply. I have noticed, however, that ensuing articles have dropped the, well, offending well’s.
Dear Josh Barnett,
I don’t know the grammatical term for, well, using the word, ”well,” as a modifier, but I recognize a crutch when I see one. Are your writers under orders to, well, use the word ‘well’? If so, they are doing damned well.
In today’s paper, Paul Hagen goes for a “well” in para 8: “This is odd on a couple of levels. One is that, well, that’s not usually how they conduct themselves.” Also in today’s paper, now that you’ve brought Bob Cooney into the starting rotation, he got in his own well in the first paragraph. Good on ya, Bob. “It was a setting that hasn’t been present at the Wachovia Center since, well, since Iverson was there before.
Sam Donnelon is a more frequent well flyer. But the past and present (and probable future) King of Wells, is, well, Mr.R. Hofmann. Hoffy is hitting about .333 in his weekly columns, good for a ball player, but, well, below the Mendoza line for a sports writer.
I’m having a little fun with you, but really, it’s epidemic and annoying. I’ve thought that the Daily News sports pages have been living off their reputations, well, for several years. Certainly, putting an embargo on all well’s for the foreseeable future would, well, be appreciated.
More Noise from Boyz
I know we all have radio and tv voices we can’t stand. Voices that make us cringe, or want to throw up. Voices we can never mute quickly enough. Voices that should be silenced in the public welfare . Or ex-communicated to Cleveland.
So, what is upsetting me today? Why it’s the engineers and producers who’ve begun injecting themselves into radio and television broadcasts. It’s horrid, puerile, beyond immature, silly, infantile, utterly stupid and insipid. These dudes are now introducing sound effects on top of the talkers. I heard the first such intrusion on the Glen Macnow-Anthony Gargano “Mid-day Show” on WIP. Whoever produces the show began launching sound effects, like grenades, into the the on- air gabbing. Beyond interrupting the flow of conversation – such as it is – it’s absurd, and entirely annoying. As days have gone on, the intrusions have become more relentless, more encompassing, more obtuse, more dim-witted, and yes, utterly stupid. It has spread like a California conflagration. Listen long enough and you’ll have to leave your home. Listen long enough and stay in your home, and you risk burning your ears to death.
So, yes, it’s begun to spread like the Swine Flu virus. Cataldi’s boy picked it up. Barkann’s boy followed suit. And most troubling of all, our beloved Phillies broadcasts have also, sadly, fallen victim to the same brutish, boorish behavior. Now chimes and buzzers go off during Chris Wheeler’s Seventh Inning “Guess the Boring Trivia Question” segment. Do we really need more noise in our society? Do we really need more inanity? Do we really need more mindless twaddle? Wow, that’s it. They are twaddling us to death. It’s a twaddle conspiracy. It’s a right wing conspiracy …. no, no, I mean it’s a left wing conspiracy, or no, it’s an across-the-aisle, bi-partisan conspiracy designed to further erode the American spirit. Whatever it is, it’s coarse and it’s working. And it should be stopped.
Maybe we should all gather at City Hall, at a specific day and time, and in unison, with all the outrage we can muster, shout: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, HEY HEY, GOODBYE. Maybe we should resurrect a sixties-style march and take over the broadcast sets of the offending engineers and producers. Maybe we should form a political action committee to silence these evil doers. Get a couple of lobbyists. Pay off a few pols. Hire a world-class publicity agent. Hell, hire an advertising company. Let’s put together an all-out assault to quiet these jerks. Let’s form up and let’s call ourselves SHHHHH. C’mon people, smile on your brother, everybody get together, let’s love one another right now. But enough rubbish. Enough!
Sports Pages – The Inquirer v. The Daily News
No further evidence is needed. It’s now clear that The Daily News sportswriters are inferior to those at The Philadelphia Inquirer. Or, put another way, the Inquirer has far surpassed the Daily News and left them in second and last place in the city. And they’re pulling away. Please check back. Analysis to follow.
Fire Gary Matthews & Limit Tom McCarthy or Who Will Replace Harry Kalas?
If he could have, who would our beloved Harry Kalas picked to replace him? Not Tom McCarthy, at least not as the lead TV announcer. I think McCarthy, under the unexpected pressure of Harry’s death, has acquited himself quite well. He has proved to me that he has a place in Phillies broadcasts: the middle three innings, not the six around them. McCarthy does his homework and is well-prepared. He gets an “A” for trying to get Sarge (Gary Matthews) involved in the broadcasts and to induce him to become verbally coherent – as impossible and unrewarding a task as ever foisted on a broadcaster. But McCarthy just has one volume, one tone: loud. There is no nuance in his telecasts. Moreover, he is not a baseball story teller, he doesn’t let the game come to him. In essence, he talks too much, talks too loudly, often times shouting in a sing-songy tempo, and tends to overwhelm the game. And, yo, McCarthy’s thunderous, cackling, out of proportion laughs are iced-gatorade-poured-on-the-back annoying.
So, if not Tom McCarthy, then whom? I submit that this critically important task cannot be entrusted to Rob Brooks, the Phillies manager of bad broadcast hires, and equally bad (very) broadcast booth assignments. It was Brooks who brought the forgettable Scott Graham to the Phillies telecasts. It was Brooks who broke-up that wonderful, simpatico broadcast relationship betwen Harry and Larry Anderson. “L.A.” had the impossible task of replacing a legend, our Richie Ashburn, and doing so without any experience. And yet, he did, and did so admirably. It was clear that the Harry-L.A. team clicked. But, apparently Anderson angered Brooks by not always commenting upon the TV graphics displayed countless times during a broadcast. Tsk, Tsk, Larry. Your work made be genuinely terrific, your rapport with Harry quite wondrous, but you don’t obey well enough The one thing I can say for Matthews is that no matter what he’s saying he always stops to read the graphic., no matter how horribly it interrupts the flow of the game. Nice, lad, that Matthews, so well-behaved.
More. It was Brooks who made a tangled mess of a constantly rotating booth with three people in the booth, then four people, all vying for the microphone, all talking over each other. I’ve written about this often, but the new hire is such a supremely important decision, one that could affect Phillies telecasts for the next quart4er cetnruyy or more, that Brooks must sit this one out, be transferred to a new position, or be axed. The one thing he cannot be trusted to do is to lead the way for a new main mouthpiece. Nor can he be trusted to set-up the broadcast rotation in a way that lets the game be what’s important, as oppsoed to Brooks’ transparent and failed attempts to reinvent television baseball broadcasting. And just to make us all feel comfortable, I say Rob Brooks….BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Robbie, can ye hear me?
Let’s get this right and let’s start by canning Brooks.