Philly Media Sports’s (PMS) Weblog

Why Michael (The Emperor) Barkann Barkann’t

Posted in Uncategorized by phillymediasports on May 14, 2008

Wink! Wink! Smirk! Smirk! 
Smirk! Smirk! Wink! Wink!
There you have it, 8 words encapsulating the self-indulgent-look-at-me-ain’t-I-great verbose mutterings of Comcast Sportsnet TV Emperor, Michael Barkann’t.

Sports fans in this town have been infested with Barkanna Pestis, a widespread bacterium that infects our airwaves, not to mention our cognitive senses. There is to date no known cure.  And sad to say, my fellow citizens, but Barkanna Pestis is spreading.

Not content to dominate 7 1/2 hours of Daily News Live airtime, Barkann’t has bullied his way into doing the post game shows for both the Flyers and the 76ers. When the playoffs were in full swing, that meant Barkann’t got a another hour or so most every night.  If you do the math, that adds up to upwards of 15 hours of Barkanna Pestis per week.  

But, I ask you, is this enough Barkann’t?  Don’t we want more?  I, for one, want lots more.  I don’t see why we can’t have all-Barkann’t all the time.  I know the dear man needs time to sleep and eat and do other stuff, but that doesn’t mean Barkann’t, even in a comatose state, won’t still be fascinating to viewers.

(I’ll stop for now. This is just a taste tease.  There is more Barkann’t text to come.  Much more.  Stay tuned.) 



2 Responses

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  1. Elgee said, on May 18, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    Love your blob! You are so funny and such a great writer! And I NEVER watch sports, NOR have I ever set foot in Philly. Are you single?

  2. shayroddy said, on December 20, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    Barkann is a classy man and one helluva sports host. If you want any respect you should take this self incriminating crap down.

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