BARKANNBARKANNBARKANN LOOK-AT-ME I’M MICHAEL BARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BARKANNBARKANNBARKANN LOOK AT ME I’M MICHAEL BARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAY IT AGAIN: BARKANNBARKANNBARKANN LOOK AT ME I’M MICHAEL BARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M WRITING THIS IN A FONT CALLED, “BARKANNMEE,” WHERE EVERY WORD IS IN CAPS, BOLD AND IN CAPS, ALL THE TIME, DAY AND NIGHT, 24-7, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THERE IS NO MODULATION IN THE BARKANN UNIVERSE, ONLY THAT SELF-PROMOTIONAL SHOUTING, THAT PERPETUAL CONCEITED LOOK-AT-ME WINK WINK AINT I THE GREATEST?!  IN THAT GALAXY THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR THE GLORIOUS GREATNESS THAT IS MICHAEL, MIKEY B, THE BARK, THE BROADCASTER EXTRODINAIRE: MICHAEL THE B GIVING A PERPETUAL SHOUT OUT TO HIS OWN ASTONISHING MAGNIFICENCE.

EVERYBODY LOOK.  IT’S MICHAEL BARKANN, WHERE EVERY WORD IS EAR-BUSTING, WHERE EVERY WORD IS DESIGNED TO DESPERATELY DRAW CONTINUOUS ATTENTION TO HIS OWN WONDERDOUS WONDERIFFIC WONDERFULNESS.  EVERYBODY LOOK SOME MORE. IT’S MIKEY THE B IN ALL HIS PERPETUAL GLORY.  AND YO, KEEP ON LOOKING AT OUR OWN MICHAEL B EXTRAORDINAIRE, THE VOICE OF HIS OWN GRANDIOSITY, THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE STAR OF STARS.  HEH HEH HEH.

HEH. HEH. TWITCH. TWITCH.  YAKNOWWHATIMEAN?  THIS JUST IN!  AIN’T I GREAT?

EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME.  THIS JUST IN.  OH, I JUST SAID THAT. HEY, I’M MIKEY B., THE GREAT BARKANNSKY. HEH. HEH.  LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME, LOVEMEALLTHETIME, JUST LIKE I DO.  YEAH, LOVE ME DO, OH THAT’S THE BEATLES, HEH HEH HEH, WELL, THEN JUST GO AHEAD AND LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME, JUST LIKE I DO, TOO.  YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!

AH, WE’VE GOT AN EMAIL FROM JOHN IN NEWARK, DELAWARE.  JOHN WRITES, “HEY MICHAEL B., YOU’RE THE BEST.  DON’T HOLD BACK.   KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH YOUR FANTABULOUS BARKANNMANIA, YOUR BARKANN AND BAILEY SELF PROMOTION.  WE LOVE YOU.  WE CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU.  YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!  HEH. HEH.”

ARE YOU LIKE ME?  ARE YOU IMPREGNATED WITH BARKANNMANIA?  I FOR ONE WANT MORE.  I WAS TERRIBLY DISSAPOINTED TO SEE THAT THE MICHAEL BARKANN SELF-GLORIFICATION COMEDY SHOW HAS BEEN CONTRACTED TO AN HOUR.  THAT’S 30 MINUTES LESS WONDERFULNESS 5 DAYS A WEEK.  THAT’S 150 LOST MINUTES WHERE I CAN NO LONGER WATCH IN AWE THE BARKANN GREATNESS AS IT OOZES OUT INTO OUR LIVING ROOMS IN BARKASSMIC HIGH DEF.  HEY, I’VE GOT IT:  LET’S GET A “WE WANT MORE MIKE” PETITION GOING. YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET.  SIGN-UP HERE.

WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.  WE WANT MORE MIKE. WE WANT MORE MIKE.